I'd like to say goodbye

Hello everyone, thank you for gathering here tonight.

I am very sad to announce the tragic death of my husband, the M O N O L I T H, the most deep and attractive piece of minimap coding stuck to the UI code I have ever met. He'd come to me every time I'd click th-the..t-the *dramatic sniff* actions menu. We'd speak for hours, I'd tell him about my journeys across Primordial and he'd sort of blink yellow a few times in a way I can only feel means "K I L L  T H E  O R G A N I C  S C U M  T H A T  I N H A B I T S  A N D  P L A G U E S  T H I S  P L A N E T". He was such a charmer..

Until the evil blackchan (the same person who came into my house and beat me with a rusty spoon before stealing all my rice krispies) hackermanned into the code and deleted him from the planes of existence. I cried all night, who would I watch float menacingly over Bergen from a perch in the atmosphere? Whose semi-corporeal pixels would I kiss lovingly? He was so young, only several thousand years old, and had no say in whether he wanted to die or not.

I still remember our wedding like it was yesterday..the game machine broke the fuck up so we were there alone..just us, and the tribes bird who was visibly uncomfortable the whole time, though I can't tell whether it was because of him or because my suricate had 7 coats of lipstick on (it was very pretty.)

My heart will never belong to anyone else ever again...no, I'm serious, he literally asked for the heart of a mortal and I willingly gave it to him. I cannot love anyone else. It is a sad day for me and my relationship...R.I.P darling, may you terrorize some other little animals in another life.
Also, he may or may not have literally devoured me alive once which was not fun.









I'll miss holding your brutally cold rectangular form at night..